My dad died last Monday, Feb 13, 2012 due to complications from the medicine administered to him after he had a Heart Attack. I blame the doctors for his death. It was so sudden. One minute he was ok, we were talking, and the next minute he flat lined. And now, whenever I close my eyes all I can see is him on his hospital bed, lifeless. And I can’t get the image out of my head.

I went through Feb 13 to Feb 21 feeling like my life wasn’t my own. Like I was stuck in someone else’s body, living a nightmare and I can’t seem to get out of it. Sometimes I feel like I’m floating. My brain quit functioning properly days ago and my heart just won’t stop breaking.

I am reminded of my dad in every single thing. The empty chair in our dining table, the pair of shoes under the living room sofa that we haven’t touched yet since he died, the chipped paint in my bedroom wall, the empty clay pots in his garden… Every.Single.Thing.

And I still can’t accept it. I still hope that he’d come home tonight or tomorrow from one of his random trips to Quezon laughing at us for thinking he was dead. I still hope I’d finally be able to get out of this body and go back to my own, normal life. I still hope that I’d wake up from this nightmare… eventually.

A couple of my friends who’s had one of their parents pass away told me that this will not be easy. What an understatement.

My sister’s home from Canada and won’t fly out til mid-March. I dread the day that it’ll just be and my mom at home. Quiet rooms, quiet halls and the absence of the smell of coffee at 7 in the morning will hit us with much more intensity than they ever have.

And my question is: How do we move forward from this?

Also: When will my heart stop breaking?

I should’ve been born with super powers.

C’mon 2012, what do you have in store for me?

i made this, with my older sister in mind. freezing her buns off in Canada, she likes pretty things… pretty being “pretty practical”, “pretty comfortable” and “pretty awesome”. so if your sister is anything like mine, this might be just for her too.

1. Red Knitted Scarf (asos)
2. Wellingtons (hunter boots)
3. iPad (apple)
4. The Look Book by Erika Stalder (uo)
5. Friendship Bracelet (asos)
6. Amazing Grace Body Spritz (philosophy)
7. Minnetonka Kitty Suede Moccasins (madewell)

wouldn’t you want to be my sister? not that i can afford any of these but at least i’ve got good ideas! haha

]]> http://kalatkid.com/2011/11/gift-guide-for-the-fabulous-sister/feed/ 0 http://kalatkid.com/2011/11/gift-guide/ http://kalatkid.com/2011/11/gift-guide/#comments Tue, 01 Nov 2011 08:08:11 +0000 kax http://kalatkid.com/?p=1041 With Christmas coming up, I thought I’d help myself by making gift guides for family, friends,people I work with, etc. If this ends up helping anybody else then that’s cool too :)

So this first one is for my mom who’s lazy most of the time but when inspiration hits her, can make awesome jewelry, can cook up a storm, can be fashionable.. and who’s generally a family woman(when she’s not in church, that is hehe)

a jewelry making kit, a quirky chopping board, a snow-scented spritz, and a family photobooth.

]]> http://kalatkid.com/2011/11/gift-guide/feed/ 0 http://kalatkid.com/2011/10/on-smiley-parents/ http://kalatkid.com/2011/10/on-smiley-parents/#comments Mon, 31 Oct 2011 07:54:44 +0000 kax http://kalatkid.com/2011/10/on-smiley-parents/ So my i told my dad we’ll take a picture. Multiple shots in a row so he can make 4 different faces.

See my dad’s 4 faces.

And of course my mom wanted her own picture as well.

On our way home from having lunch in tagaytay.

Who am I kidding? After the series, I’ll still post my wishlist.

Favorite question for oldies to ask? “When are you getting married?”

For the past 2 years I’ve been to a few weddings already. Classmates from college, highschool, kids I’ve grown up with. And within the next few months I have 3 more friends getting married. By choice, all of them, thank goodness.

But I’d be a fool not to say that that doesn’t freak me out. I’m hella FREAKED OUT with a capital F-R-E-A-K!

While I’m planning on surviving zombie apocalypse, being giddy over Jenna Hamilton’s crush on Matty in Awkward, and thinspirationing on Maggie Q (who I’m happy to report isn’t always photographed pretty)… I have friends picking out mottiffs, worrying about their prenup pictures and the price of having a good designer to do their gowns!

kamusta naman ang dahon at sili sa pengpeng?

And that’s just the wedding! What about sharing a house with (technically) a stranger. Having to make sure he puts the lid down. Always having to think for 2. Being responsible not just for yourself but for your significant other. Taking care of each other and making things work. MAKING THINGS WORK! I can’t even fry a fish without it being burnt in one side and under-cooked in the other.

But I’m going to be a hypocrite if I said that I didn’t think of my own wedding every now and then. Every girl imagines her wedding. That pretty white dress, the gorgeous buffet – yeah my priorities are pretty screwed.

So yeah, my friends’ weddings have me imagining my perfect outdoor wedding. And it since it’s all happening in my head, I throw in this guy to join in on the happily-ever-after fun.

nothing like ben barnes to make you want to say your ‘i dos’ faster than a speeding bullet

But it’s a different story when they start churning out one of these…

So anyway, Tuesdays. Ponti Nights. My friends from work and I would buy our set of beers (3 for P100 if you’re a VIP which we’ve become thanks to being at Ponti every Tuesday since January and nearly everyday 2010) and a pizza or a platter of wings (if we have more than P100 in our pockets), and gossip for the next 2 hours.

More often than not, we would sing our hearts out to 90s pop music that the dj would be playing. If we’re lucky, it would be Rocke-oke night so we get to sing our hearts out to 90s pop music in front of a group of equally-drunk people with a band to back us up.

But then, sometimes, we have the bad nights.

Bad nights can be defined as nights when we go down too late like say, 10pm and a gaggle of giggly yuppies fresh from college or law school students come in. You can tell by their outfits, usually. And for this post, let me focus on the giggly girls fresh from college.

They’re giggly. And there’s a gaggle of them. With their designer bags and a glass of cocktail in their hand they fleet from table to table air kissing friends. They seem to know everybody or have a friend in every table. They probably went to college, party, drink, together or whatever the case may be, the whole bar is a clique (minus us, the oldies).

One thing I noticed about them is that… NOT ONE OF THEM IS FAT! I’ll be damned if any of them is over 120lbs, heights ranging from 5’2 to 5’9″ most probably high heels included.

So they can wear skin-tight jeans, tank and or cropped tops, unforgiving polyester dresses and you will not see an iota of bulge,fat,stretch marks, cellulite or even a misplaced pimple. WHAT DID THESE KIDS DO? Was there something in the milk they were drinking that we didn’t have that made them this… (nearly) perfect?

I find myself envying them and how they carry themselves. They can walk without a problem (and some people can even dance and run) in 5 inch heels (which are very pretty, mind you). No matter how short their skirts are, they still manage not to flash anybody! And let’s not even talk about make-up coz for the life of me I can’t even put on lipstick without getting some on my teeth.

basically they all look something like this minus the coat and the knee high boots

And yeah, they’re all so pretty.

I know that they don’t represent the norm of the society. They’re just like 10% of their age group.

But they’re all so different from the girls I’m used to. (The hipster kids)

but 10 lbs heavier hehehe.

But at least the universe is fair. When I run into these kids in the restroom, I hear them puking in the stall next to mine and I laugh on the inside. I see them stumbling and barely able to walk in their 5 inch heels while severely drunk and I thank the gods I have enough sense in me to wear shoes I can walk in. So yeah they may have looked good when they walked in, but with their runny make up and the zombie walk – I look much better than they do (at least in my head I do).

And let’s not even talk about the “talking”. High-pitched conyo speak has the same effect on me as nails scratching on boards. Grating.

But I have friends who are these kids and I still love them to bits. And I love how they let me make fun of them :)

But I will never ever understanding how they can bring themselves to snort alcohol.

Last night, watching the first episode of Walking Dead, there was this particular scene that made my skin crawl. The survivors, while gathering provisions in a highway full of abandoned cars (a graveyard, if you will have it) suddenly chances upon a throng of migrating zombies. A THRONG! MIGRATING! ZOMBIES! so they had to hide under cars while waiting for the last of the zombies to pass through.

Imagine yourself already stressed and wary from having to run away from a supposed safe place because the zombies were coming. You’re tired, low on supplies and rushing to go about your business before dark happens. And then you turn around for a second and you see hundreds and thousands (ok maybe just hundreds) of zombies coming towards you. And you don’t know what to do and where you can go. If you make a noise they will know you’re there. They can smell you. THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU CAN DO!! How do you hope to fight a huge group of rotting, flesh eaters? They’re fast. They don’t tire. They don’t feel pain (So fighting against them while they try to overpower you is no use, really) and a single bite or scratch can turn you into one of them. And one thing that can make it worse is if you see a familiar face amongst them (your dad, your best friend, your boyfriend – how are you supposed to shoot that? if it’s your boss or your ex, ok then shoot away!).

Imagine that wherever you go, you will be in this situation at any time, any day. And what if these zombies were the “28 Days Later” kind? They don’t just groan towards you, they run! And they’re mad! One day you will run out of gasoline for your vehicle, bullets for your gun, and your blade will go blunt. You will run out of hope, you will run out of strength and reason to fight.

There will be nothing else you can do but just run towards them and die. If you can’t beat them, join them, right?

Actually this post has no point. I’m just scared shitless of zombies. I’m on my feet (well truth is, I’m on my ass) all day thinking of things I have to do to prepare should Zombie Apocalypse hit us soon (2012 – end of the world… as we know it! perfect time for those zombies to show up, eh?)!

So I made a list of things that I think will help me survive Zombie Apocalypse (thanks to TV shows,books (may be about Armageddon, Rapture, whatever) my crazy friends, and a lot of paranoia):

1. Put metal railings on the windows – so even if they smash the glass windows into pieces, they still can’t get into the house.
2. Fortify the gates – make it higher, stronger, and remove all means of climbing over it.
3. Buy a hardcore 4×4 Land Rover – complete with 10 extra tires, GPS, solar powered phones
4. Buy a gasoline station franchise – so I never run out of gasoline (at least for the first few years of the apocalypse). I have to place this branch in a remote location, just have one pump, and make it look abandoned and empty so nobody uses it aside from me and my family (and friends if they’re alive)
5. Raid an artillery/Befriend a black market gun dealer – and load up on bullets, all sorts of guns, bazookas, grenades, flame throwers, anything that can help me kill those brain chompers!
6. Learn Wushu – so at least I can fight with swords, knives, scarves, curtains, whatever when I run out of fire power. I should befriend Jackie Chan, maybe he can help me fight with frying pans!
7. Buy a franchise of SM Hypermart or Pure Gold – and keep it closed. So all provisions are just mine, for my family (and friends, if they’re alive). I’ll put these branches in strategic locations in case I’m forced to be on the road.
8. Buy a bike – because sooner or later I’ll run out of gas but I need to be in a move so a bike it is. A solar powered car will do but what will I do if along with the Zombie Apocalypse, the sun burns out?
9. Do Cardio – yeah I watched Zombieland.
10. Cover our house, my car with pieces of rotting flesh – so at least they’ll think it’s just one of them and move away.
11. Never travel with old people – coz I will not be able to bring myself to leave them even if it means dying myself. (same thing with dogs – hello I am Legend)
12. Befriend a doctor and a soldier – coz at least one can fight and the other can treat the wounded.