It has recently occurred to me that I’m 26 years old (and in a couple of months I’m 27). To family, however, or family friends, that realization occurred years ago when I was just 24.

Favorite question for oldies to ask? “When are you getting married?”

For the past 2 years I’ve been to a few weddings already. Classmates from college, highschool, kids I’ve grown up with. And within the next few months I have 3 more friends getting married. By choice, all of them, thank goodness.

But I’d be a fool not to say that that doesn’t freak me out. I’m hella FREAKED OUT with a capital F-R-E-A-K!

While I’m planning on surviving zombie apocalypse, being giddy over Jenna Hamilton’s crush on Matty in Awkward, and thinspirationing on Maggie Q (who I’m happy to report isn’t always photographed pretty)… I have friends picking out mottiffs, worrying about their prenup pictures and the price of having a good designer to do their gowns!

kamusta naman ang dahon at sili sa pengpeng?

And that’s just the wedding! What about sharing a house with (technically) a stranger. Having to make sure he puts the lid down. Always having to think for 2. Being responsible not just for yourself but for your significant other. Taking care of each other and making things work. MAKING THINGS WORK! I can’t even fry a fish without it being burnt in one side and under-cooked in the other.

But I’m going to be a hypocrite if I said that I didn’t think of my own wedding every now and then. Every girl imagines her wedding. That pretty white dress, the gorgeous buffet – yeah my priorities are pretty screwed.

So yeah, my friends’ weddings have me imagining my perfect outdoor wedding. And it since it’s all happening in my head, I throw in this guy to join in on the happily-ever-after fun.

nothing like ben barnes to make you want to say your ‘i dos’ faster than a speeding bullet

But it’s a different story when they start churning out one of these…

Crappy picture of probably the best people I’ve ever worked with all 5 years of my career (plus 3 ojts hehe and minus a couple of people who’ve gone before me – moved on to other work not died). Spot the girl in the nerdy glasses (that would be me!).

I’ve had my share of bad days, complaints about work and bosses and seatmates, but my 3 years stay with IG has been filled to brim with fun, laughs, alcohol, how to deal with difficult people, how NOT to deal with difficult people and a whole lotta learning (and loving going on – a cookie to the person who can get the musical reference)!

But the people I’ve worked with – they’ve taught me to always try to be the best at what I do. Go for the gold or die trying. And my boss (all 3 SPMs and 1 Director and 1 MD) have taught me that nothing is ever good enough if you want to be the best and seriously for a slacker like me – that was a hard lesson to learn. But it made me love what I do and made me strive to be better everyday.

Aww mush mush.

Goodbyes are never easy. And since I’m just a few blocks away – I could always drop by for lunch.

So now… on to a new adventure. :)

Today – the Internet tomorrow… THE WORLD!

The sun is up, The sky is blue — with the occasional rain shower.

Pinky was here and once again childhood memories of going to village basketball games, buying isaw, bullying other people, and pretentious people have been discussed over dinner, beer and sweat stains.

For awhile there, I was hopeful. We talked about adventures with heavy backpacks and ratty maps and loose changes in our pockets. It all seemed so –real. Like it could happen any day we wanted it to. She always makes me feel that the glass is half full.

I went to see other friends last week, 2 weeks ago, last Saturday. Some are getting married. Some are flying off to other countries to try their luck. Some still trying to figure out their lefts from their rights.

Some were mistakes – I shouldn’t have gone to see them.

And then of course there were some that I wished I have taken the time off to see sooner. Or not…

You have made me smile again
In fact, I might be sore from it
It’s been a while
I know we’ve been together many times before
I’ll see you on the other side

But my friends are awesome, especially the ones who feed you spicy adobo, give you birthday presents 3 months too late, sing “Jessie’s Girl” and “Total Eclipse of The Heart” with you, and talk to you about problems that are 6 years old (probably older but you’ve only known them for 6 years). And most especially the ones you can text in the middle of the night about movies that make you cry and girls you hate.

Highly amusing how I write less when I have nothing to “generally” complain about my life. It’s not like there’s nothing happening right now. The truth is the opposite, actually. There’s so much! I find truth in the saying that “LIFE HAPPENS WHEN YOU’RE TOO BUSY MAKING PLANS” or something like that. So I stopped. I stopped making plans. Well not entirely. I just completely stopped dwelling on them. And instead of just making plans, I went through with them.

I travelled.
I worked harder.
I made things.
I stopped worrying about what other people will think – more or less.
I cut ties.
I let go of excess baggage.

And it was wonderful! I’ve never felt this good since I was… 14 and life was all about passing Maths (and I was passing my Maths then too! With flying colors to boot).

And I have so much to say. About how life seems to be moving in the right direction for once. Or about how my brain seems to be working overtime – inspirations everywhere! Or about how light seems to be perfect when it’s 3 in the afternoon.

The problem now lies with the fact that I have so little words for when talking about happiness, contentment, positive revolution, inspiration, and all the other things bright and shiny things that have been alien to me for the past how many years.

My brain can’t keep up, seriously. It needs to stock up on vocabulary that will perfectly describe how motivated I’m feeling to become better at everything. WORK, FAMILY, LIFE, LOVE. It’s simply just not used to it.

I had so many words for when I was heart broken, disappointed, frustrated… I had more than words. I had metaphors! I had analogies! I had stories! Thousands, millions, of them! I was a bottomless pit of melancholy.

Now that I’m feeling quite the opposite, my brain is ill-equipped to translate what my heart is feeling.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s far from being rainbows, and butterflies and infinite supply of cash. FAR FROM IT! But it’s tolerable and fun and complex and a lot more orange than grey. And I love it. I love waking up in the mornings not tired from the woes that have yet to come.

I still cry when I watch You’ve Got Mail on DVD. I’m still overworked and underpaid. I’m still scared of things that I’m not even sure will happen. I still sleep with the lights on, worried about the things that may or may not get me in the dark.

I just stopped over thinking.

And ta-dah! Life was suddenly better.

I think I need a strawberry yoghurt now.

I’m not used to being this… different. It doesn’t feel like ME anymore. But somehow, I don’t mind it one bit.