Me: How does one become sweet?

Keith: A combo of being thoughtful, affectionate, pleasant, cheeful… teka sakit sa ulo pag-isipan.

Me: Takte. Cheerful palang lugi na ko eh!

There has been a long standing debate on whether i am sweet or not. Survey says (3 out of 15 people voted that i am sweet) that I am not (but that’s a different blog post). So now, I am on a quest on becoming a sweet person. The kind of sweet that will make your tooth ache and your right hand itching to slap some sense into me. That kind of sweet.

…or not.

a random facebook friend – met this guy during a gig. i was with my friends. i didn’t even get to talk to him at all. but he added me on facebook. i accepted. we’ve been facebook friends for the past 2 years, never saying a word to each other – all of a sudden sends me this message (happened feb 12 actually, night before my dad passed away so i just remembered this happening now)

Boy: Stop being geeky cute. Please.

Me: Waaaat

Boy: Whovian that likes BTTF. You’d blow my mind if you thought Chrono Trigger is the best game ever made.

needless to say, i thought it was absolutely hilarious.

Me: eh yung kinilig ako dito kahit di ko sila kilala http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m02qubHIg31roxle0o1_500.gif

Jao: parang bading yun guy :))

- kanina ko pa naririnig boses mo but i didn’t know where it was coming from. i couldn’t find you.

- maybe i’m not really here. maybe i’m just in your head.

- planting evil thoughts?

- kailangan pa ba?

- ang gulo dito no?

i didn’t answer. taking a long drag from my newly-lit cigarette, i scanned the room. it was really a mess. i watched as two guys in masks (one wore a george bush mask too small for his face, the other was wearing joker’s face) clawed out each other’s eyes fighting over the last piece of meatball. an eyeball rolled and stopped by my left foot. i stooped down to pick it up.

- if only i knew evolution would bring us smaller brains and shorter tempers, i would’ve stayed in 1999.

- personally, i prefer curry over meatball.

i handed him the eyeball with my lefthand and took his bottle of beer with my right. i’ve gotten used to having 2 fingers, the other 3 have fallen off nearly 3 weeks ago. evolution, it seemed, decided that apart from giving the finger, picking noses and wearing expensive wedding rings, humans don’t really have use for their middle, ring and pinky fingers. it’s such a pity. i would have really loved to give him the finger then.

- i heard her birthday’s coming up.

- yeah. we’re having cow.

- cooked?

- of course. fortunately, we still haven’t lost our taste for salt.

only a few feet from us, a girl crouched facing the wall. i could see her arms moving, but what exactly she was doing, i couldn’t figure out.

- so hi.

- hi.

and i left. i lit another cigarette and put my diving mask back on.

- You know life is too short to waste it on verbal foreplay. People spend so much time talking about the weather, basketball scores, work, they forget the person behind the answers. I’d rather talk about you, than about the things around you.

- You know you lost me at foreplay.

A conversation between a guy I dated some years ago and myself which I thought was pretty sweet and smooth. haha! Let’s call him X, just in case a common friend of ours ends up here and tells him I blogged about it.

X: oh, and i have to ask you a major major important question. do you watch movies?

me: of course haha who doesn’t?

X: [galing o, pahaba nang pahaba] ako dati. pero naisep ko dapat nga lang. i mean, at the movies?

me: haha yeah

X: because i hear the ayala cinemas show the best films, and–and i don’t know if this is a good thing to say to a pretty lady–but i hate going to makati and you’d give me a perfect excuse to go over there from time to time. it would be my treat.

me: haha!

and that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you ask a lady out on a date. :)

and probably one of the sweetest thing ever said to me:

[context: guy had no cellphone then. he lost it. liked not having one and so didn't get a replacement]

X: hehehe. nakakaasar. the whole no phone thing was fun, up until about now.

me: hahaha eees okey

X: you made me want to get a phone.

and that is how you charm a lady. :)

dated this guy for a couple of months, nothing happened. but i have to say though, hands down, my favorite boylet. haha!

trinset: yung hinahug ba nya gf nya?
kaxuson: oo!!!!!
trinset: di mashadong maganda
trinset: boo
kaxuson: DI TALAGA!!!
kaxuson: maputi lang siya at mapula sakong at siko niya!
kaxuson: sumasakit puso ko
trinset: gwapo kase
kaxuson: ang unfair ng mundo
kaxuson: ang sama ng loob ko sa love
kaxuson: feeling ko si [insert name here] si cinderella at ako yung ugly step sister
kaxuson: hay [insert name here]
kaxuson: [insert name here]
kaxuson: gagawin ko lahat para sa yo
trinset: adik ka
trinset: hahaha
kaxuson: iwan mo lang girlfriend mo
kaxuson: hahahahahaha
trinset: hahaha baka nadala na sya sa mga magaganda
trinset: kaya sa average sya pumatol
kaxuson: eh kung gusto niya ng average andito naman ako!
trinset: kaso may nauna na
trinset: naniwala na sya sa love nung nakita nya si [insert name here]
trinset: too late por yu
trinset: jajaja
kaxuson: salamat trina dinurog mo ang puso ko
trinset: you’re welcome

[13:55] Snipey: but whyyyy

[13:56] Snipey: pornxbitch isteh bomb!

[13:57] pornxbitch: kasi ang hirap mag explain sa mga boss kung bakit pornxbitch ang yahoo id ko hahahaha actually tong bago kalatkid tong username talaga. profile lang si akxuson hahahahaha

[13:57] Snipey: =))

[13:57] Snipey: pornxbitch

[13:57] Snipey: yeaaaaaaaaaah!

[13:57] pornxbitch: hahahaha may mga nagrereact pa na mga boss ng “who the hell is pornxbitch??”

[13:57] Snipey: diba yan yung ym para di ka ma-stalk? =))

[13:58] pornxbitch: kaya ayun fine gawa na ng bago

[13:58] Snipey: BWAHAHAHAHAHA

[13:58] Snipey: best username ever

[13:58] pornxbitch: di bale kakausapin pa din kita dito paminsan minsan

[13:58] pornxbitch: hahahahahahaha

[13:58] Snipey: yun o

[13:59] Snipey: kaw lang yung pornstar name kong ym frend e

[13:59] pornxbitch: para di mo mamiss hahahaha

My sister on our newly set up wireless connection:

BIRUIN MO YAN! Nagt-twitter ako habang naglalakad. Saan ka pa?

Hehe. Isa lang ang sagot dyan:

Ate, You’re so provincial